Adios Flying Potato

I've had my car for 8 years, and it has served me well.

It came into my life as I was headed to St Louis for medical school; my dad and I did a lot of used car driving to find an appropriate car to drive half-way across the country. We ended up finding a 4 year old Ford Taurus. The trunk space is amazing and I have toted around an astounding amount of stuff in a relatively small car.

Probably listening to NPR at some point I heard a story about the development of aerodynamic cars, the Taurus was one of the first. However the shape is more bulbous than necessarily sleek, and someone likened it to a flying potato. Since hearing that story, Mike and I have endearingly referred to it as the potato, sometimes even a sweet potato.

It still basically runs fine but it has served out its useful life with me. We were in need of a vehicle to get around in the winter and recently bought a Toyota RAV4, which is an exceedingly nice and elegant car compared to the potato. It has an actual CD player (rather than a CD car converter), heated seats, 4 wheel drive ...

Given my love of NPR and lack of desire to go through the process of selling a car, especially in this economy, I decided to donate the car to "my public radio station." They will take any car in running condition or not. It was surprisingly easy. But, I came home from work last night to find the car no longer there,

and I felt sad for getting rid of the car that got me to and from St Louis, transporting all of my earthly belongings, was safe, never got in an accident besides the driver-side mirror that got knocked off twice in Portland ... Anyhow, thanks Flying Potato, may someone else get as much good use from you as I did.

Vegetarian Myth

I guess I'm making up for not writing much lately ...

I've been on a journey for the past half year away from veganism. Creme brulee and Nourishing Traditions were the impetus for making a change away from my eating habits of the past 11 years as I've posted about previously. Now as I'm eating cheese/eggs/yogurt/milk on a daily basis and fish weekly, I'm struggling a little as whether to make further changes.

Every time I eat any fish, I saw a brief thanks to the fish for giving its life so that my body can be healthy. One of the young nurses I work with recently went fishing and caught a 37 pound king salmon. She brought pictures to share. It was a monstrous (at least 3 feet long) and beautiful fish.

I'm just struggling with the necessity of killing these beautiful animals for nourishment. I find my body wanting to eat fish and enjoying it more than I would have ever guessed.

I've been doing some reading on line and came upon a book called The Vegetarian Myth by Lierre Keith (she was vegan herself for 20 years) and found the following passage:

"In his book Long Life, Honey in the Heart, Martin Pretchel writes of the Mayan people and their concept of kas-limaal, which translates roughly as “mutual indebtedness, mutual insparkedness.” “The knowledge that every animal, plant, person, wind, and season is indebted to the fruit of everything else is an adult knowledge. To get out of debt means you don’t want to be part of life, and you don’t want to grow into an adult,” one of the elders explains to Pretchel.

The only way out of the vegetarian myth is through the pursuit of kas-limaal, of adult knowledge. This is a concept we need, especially those of us who are impassioned by injustice. I know I needed it. In the narrative of my life, the first bite of meat after my twenty year hiatus marks the end of my youth, the moment when I assumed the responsibilities of adulthood. It was the moment I stopped fighting the basic algebra of embodiment: for someone to live, someone else has to die. In that acceptance, with all its suffering and sorrow, is the ability to choose a different way, a better way."

I teared up on reading this. I think I need to get a copy of this book.

Perhaps the most unanswerable question

What happens when we die?

I've been contemplating this question frequently as a result of a local tragedy. I've lived in large cities for the past 11 years and felt pretty anonymous, not knowing hardly anyones outside of my small group of acquaintances. However, now my community is a whole 20,000 people and Mike's and my jobs lend themselves to get to know lots of people.

A few weeks ago, Mike was looking at the news online and found a story about a car accident that happened that day just west of town in which 2 people died and 2 others were injured, one critically. The next day the headline story in the paper identified those who had died as the 60 year old mother and 6 year old son of our real estate agent. Reading that took my breath away and made my heart drop. I can't imagine having that happen, losing 2 people so central to your life in the same instant. I mean, you hear about those sorts of accidents happening in which whole families or parts of families are killed in the same accident. But I've never known those affected by such a tragedy. The week after it happened, it felt there was this pall over the town, this overriding sadness. The family is well known - the woman who died is a counselor working with the alcohol recovery community and director of one of the local tribal counseling centers, the one who lost the mother and son is a real estate agent and is running for city counsel and her husband is a police officer. Their children come to our clinic. I would see her walking the 6 year old to school as I walked to work, see them riding their bikes in the neighborhood.

All spiritual traditions have their own take on what happens after we die - whether we are judged and sorted accordingly, whether we rejoin the collection of souls, whether we are reborn to continue our journey to enlightenment, whether the end of our living body is the end forever. I was raised Catholic but don't really follow that tradition anymore, and I don't believe in hell. Nor do I believe in the end when our body dies. Can we have contact with those that have died? Can we make some connection with the soul that lives on?

I've known plenty of people who have died, but I'm not sure why this tragedy has started me on these thoughts. Perhaps it is thoughts of this grieving mother who has lost her 6 year old son. Was this car accident meant to be the end of his life? Was there some purpose in this? Was he never meant to reach adult-hood? Perhaps there is something about having a person in your life for only 6 years, but during that time see this being develop a personality, a strong sense of compassion, to be so full of life and for that to be gone in an instant of an inexplicable accident.

At the memorial, they spoke about how the little boy is moving on to new adventures. And, somehow, I find that helpful. It is a way of framing how his life isn't over, he's just moving on to different things somewhere else. We never know when the end will come for anyone that we love, or, for that matter, when our own time will come. I hope I could say that I've internalized all of the possible lessons from this, but I find myself still human. Getting into petty squabbles, worrying about things that don't matter, spending time doing things that I don't love, not telling those important to me that I love and appreciate them as much as I should. But at least I've been more aware of these things, these thoughts. And I've allowed my heart to be open even if it is painful.

The question will remain unanswerable.

Sucumbing to antibiotics

Even though I prescribe them everyday, I don't really like to take antibiotics. The little critters at work have been pretty sick this fall so far, and so even with good hand-washing, it can be difficult to stave off any flying germies in the air. I've had 2 cold the past few weeks and thought I was getting healthy finally when my cough started. It was pretty deep but not necessarily troublesome. I've still been seeing the acupuncturist frequently to help my thyroid nodule, and she worked on my cough this week. I started to feel some fluid in my left lung when I took a deep breath in the past day or 2. Even so, I've been feeling okay. One of my colleagues listened to me last night and I agreed to have her call in some antibiotics. I'm off today but on call this weekend. She called last night offering to take my Saturday call and "suggested" (or told me point blank) to stay in bed today. And then asked if I needed her to talk to Mike to make sure this I took care of myself today. I said I could handle it, but thanks. :-) I appreciated her care-taking last night and hopefully this pneumonia will speedily heal with the help of the drugs.

farmer's market dinner

The Saturday farmer's market is one of the highlights of my week. Getting produce locally, in season, developing a relationship with the people who grow and sell the food. I never think to bring my camera to grab a few pictures of it.

But, here are a few word pictures:

- A Korean lady who doesn't speak English but sells the best spicy garlic that we've ever had. Mike commented the other day that any other garlic seems inadequate. (hopefully the other other heads that we have around won't get a complex.)

- A fish stand called "Tuna Dan" staffed by a young mother and her sleeping babe in a backpack. The lady in front of the me asked for lots of ice to pack around her fish since they were going to be home for 4 hours. Then ensued a discussion about why the small chip ice works better for keeping it cold then the large cubed ice. "Does it have to do with the surface area? But then the bigger ice should work better since it seems it should melt slower. Oh, high school science was too long ago." I stayed out of the discussion. I came away with a pound of halibut to grill for

dinner.

- Our favorite produce stand, Lazy J, which always has fresh produce and new things to try. The stand owner had told me how to use sorrel before but only had it for a week in late spring and I didn't get any. However, she had it again yesterday, and I asked for her recommendations on using it with fish. "Use it cut up like an herb to put on top of any kind of fish, or make a cream sauce with it."

Here is a (not as flattering as I would have liked) picture of our grilled halibut on a creamy sorrel and parsley sauce. The sauce recipe is from here. It was a great dinner.

Running at daybreak

Several times a week, I go for a morning run, usually the same route every day. It's fairly peaceful without much traffic. It offers open views of the Olympics and the Straight of Juan de Fuca with the occasional view of Mt Baker if it isn't cloudy towards Bellingham. We live only 4-5 blocks from the high school, and towards the end of my run I usually do a few laps on the track. The high school is situated on pretty prime real estate with open views of water and mountains. This morning I was out before sunrise in the crisp fall air. The sun was coming up as I was on the track, lighting up the sky in colors from light pink to deep red to brilliant orange. A deer appeared as well, initially alarmed at my movement but then stopped to look at me with ears splayed out fully. Mt Baker was out in all her glory this morning with soft shades of pink setting it off.

I caught a picture of the sky after I got home.

felines

We added two new felines to our home in the past few weeks, sisters named Smudge and Ariel. They used to be Mike's cats until he moved from his previous relationship. Their caretaker is planning to be in Hawaii for the better part of a year and didn't have another place for them to go. So, it has been an interesting adjustment to be a 3 cat household now. Harper knows that he really wants to be friends with them, but his mere presence is often met with hisses, growls and swats, mostly from Smudge.

We were were sitting in the living room the other night. Harper was fascinated by this long-legged spider wandering around and proceeded to "chase" it. Ariel and Smudge thought that looked like an interesting game. Ariel watched it under the love seat for a bit. But, when it got near Smudge, she looked a little scared of it and backed away. We found it pretty amusing.

Harper is a "neglected" cat at times. We have been talking about making him a cat perch/scratching post since we moved to Port Angeles. But that certainly hasn't happened. Mike brought up the perches belonging to Ariel and Smudge. Soon after bringing the perches into the house, Harper jumped onto it. "Hey, this is pretty cool. Why don't I have one??"

I'm not used to aloof cats since both Ari and Harper were/are very affectionate cats who want/ed to be on me all of the time. Smudge, however, is her own cat. She does not come when called or even acknowledge that you are speaking to her. If she wants to be petted she will let you know. She has this black spot on the tip of her nose which prompted her name and makes her look like a little imp.

Ariel is a large cat. She weighs the same as Harper but Harper has a frame for his weight. When she gets scared, her eyes are huge, these big green saucers. And her fur is very soft, feels like a rabbit. She has this plaintive cry when she is hungry and won't stop until she is fed ...

A recent trip to La Push

We went for a drive to Forks in the pouring rain, all bundled up anticipating rain and cold. Turned out to be absolutely beautiful once we got a few miles west.Fun play on the beach with found objects.

How do I get through this maze to you??

Results finally

First thing I did this morning when I got to work was to check the biopsy results. No malignant cells seen. I am so very relieved.

more from the other side of the exam table

I had my thyroid biopsy today, technichally a fine needle aspiration (FNA). I have been anxious about this for the past week. Not so much for the actual procedure but more to have the results. Before the procedure, lidoaine is injected above the biopsy site to numb the tissue. Then to get the tissue they make multiple quick passes into the desired tissue with 3 different needles.

It was an interesting hour spent lying on the table. Most of the time spent waiting to see if they'd need to take more samples or if what they had was adequate and chatting with the ultrasound tech.

I was impressed with the bedside manner of the radiologist who did the biopsy. He had a good sense of humor and was very considerate. Radiologists don't deal with real patients much and so it was kind of novel to have one who was very personable.

This whole experience is just giving me more compassion for patients when they are in a vulnerable and scary situation, just trying to anticipate and validate their feelings as much as possible.

My neck is still hurting. It was a bit of long day. I had the biopsy at 9, then went to work at 11: 30 and was on call seeing patients until 6:30. I've only told one nurse at the clinic about my nodule and the ensuing workup. I don't like to make a big deal about things but it was nice to have her know today to get a little sympathy ...

Results back on Monday.

fearlessness

What would it be like to live completely free from fear?

I went to a yoga class for the first time in 8-9 months. I'm not sure why I haven't been going. Life just got in the way, I guess. As we were sitting in poses for awhile, the teacher was reading some from Light on Life by BKS Iyengar. Something in what she read triggered the above question.

Just asking the question brought some joy. What would it be like indeed. Not to be fearful of other's criticism, of doing things the wrong way, of my own anger, of being a bad person, of other's anger ...

What would it be like to awaken in the morning completely at one with myself, knowing from my heart that exactly who I am is okay. Knowing that the world is a good place, that what I choose to do and think is the right thing for me at that moment, irrespective of what anyone else might think. Of being comfortable in my own skin. Relaxing and slowing down the internal clock.

Sometimes I am taken aback at the fact that Mike and I are living in Port Angeles. How did this happen? I've been moving from one area of training to another over the last 11 years, always counting down until I'm done with one thing, being impatient to move onto the next phase. Well, the next phase is here. This is it. This is my life. Oh, there are little things that I count down. Such as how long until the answering service takes over for the evening when I'm on weekend call. But there are no long term countdowns like I've had over the last several years. It's an interesting change. I, and we, are settling into the community, making a life for ourselves here, together. I guess I am finally feeling a sense of calm that I haven't felt for awhile.

It is amazing that at certain points in the past, college for instance, I really thought I had life and myself figured out. Oh no. Theres is so much more to learn, so many changes. I guess in some ways it means that life isn't boring.

a new side of the exam table

The following is quite medical, bear with me.

On our next to last day in Ireland, I was standing in the bathroom drinking water, the bathroom being the only source of water in our hotel room. Not often one drinks standing next to a mirror with the capacity to watch oneself drink. I was doing just this as I noticed a lump in my neck rising and falling with each swallow. Hmm.

When I examine a patient's thyroid, I often will ask that they swallow in order to watch the gland rise out of the base of the neck. It is never an easy task to swallow without a swig of water, but I ask them to do this anyway.

So, I knew instantly that this lump I saw was a thyroid nodule. I went about to examine it with my fingers next (I can't put aside medical training for a minute): decent size, rubbery consistancy, freely mobile. I'd been feeling fine, no change in my usual state of affairs. Seemed like an incidental finding but disconcerting nonetheless since I'd never really had anything wrong besides occasional sports injuries and acute viral illnesses.

I had had a well woman exam a few weeks before we left for Ireland, establishing care with a physician in town, the wife of one of my partners. I called to make an appointment with her when we got back into town from our trip. Her first available, non-acute appointment was 3 weeks away. In the meantime I started to see an acupuncturist. Even though I am trained in allopathic (Western) medicine, I have a deep interest and respect for other modes of healing.

After 3 acupuncture visits, I finally had a visit with my doctor. I knew what should would order but needed her to order them. Even though I exam myself and self diagnose, I am still not my own physician.

The difference between the two offices - the acupuncture and family physician - was so stark. Such great ambience in the former, the sound of falling water, walls painted green, soft lighting, an hour appointment. And, in the latter, white walls, bright lighting, at most 10 minute appointment.

My thyroid function tests were normal, but the thyroid ultrasound showed a complex nodule with a solid and cystic component. A solid nodule is most likely indicative of multi-nodular goiter, which just means enlargement of the thyroid gland with several nodules that function as normal thyroid tissue, perhaps due to iodine deficiency or an autoimmune process. But a complex lesion has the potential of not being benign. Hence the fact that I have an appoinment for a ultrasound-guided biopsy this coming Friday.

Early on in my acupuncture treatments, someone mentioned that the Chinese medicine way of looking at thyroid nodules was blocked chi, or energy, in the neck. This lead me to start investigating chakras. The chakras are points of energy in the center of our bodies, leading from the base of the spine up to the crown of the head. The neck and thyroid are part of the 5th chakra, also called the throat chakra, among other names. This chakra deals with communication, listening and creativity. One of the books that I have mentions the following as descriptive of someone with a 5th chakra deficiency: fear of speaking, small, weak voice, difficulty putting feelings into words, introversion, shyness, tone deaf and poor rhythm. Although not perfect, this describes me pretty well. In addition, she describes people as looking like their neck is not connected to their body, throwing the neck out of alignment from the body. There are a few pictures of me during the wedding, when I am doing exactly this. I don't like seeing these pictures; I look so awkward. When I went to a month-long rotation in California at the end of medical school, we had to do a creative project to present to the group at the end of the month. I wrote a poem of sorts that I combined with movement/dance. My friend Ned read the first part as I moved, then I began to speak of finding my own voice. In addition, one of the lines of Mike and my vows promised that we would each speak our truth. It seems that I've been dealing with these issues for awhile. And if you want to look at it from an energetic perspective, these issues have manifested themselves as a thyroid nodule.

For the past several days, since getting over the initial shock of the ultrasound results, I am telling myself that I am healthy, happy and whole. I love myself. I speak my truth. I am not focusing on what I don't want to happen but filling my thoughts with positive intent instead.

Where's a librarian when we needed one?

When we moved into our house 7 months ago, we haphazardly put books onto bookshelves in no particular order. Life is settling down some after the wedding and trip to Ireland. We've both been bothered by not being able to find books as they were scattered between 4 different rooms and fiction and non-fiction were mingling in too close a fashion.

This all changed yesterday. Here's a picture of the library admist the chaos. (Yes, the Mariner's are on in the background.)

Fiction is now with fiction (sci-fi is not segregated -- this was a "heated" debate) and non-fiction with non-fiction. Trying to figure out how to separate the non-fiction certainly was a challenge. Is it spirituality or philosphy or psychology or science??

Our world is now ordered ... at least for the moment.

Upper Quilcene

When I lived in Portland, Mike and I went for hikes most weekends that weren't cold and rainy. Since moving up here, we have hardly done any hiking due to his plantar fasciitis, ie, right heel pain. However, we had thought about going camping/hiking this weekend since I had the time off, and I received a fortuitous email from a friend in Seattle asking if we were interested in hiking together. We had all of the backpacking paraphenalia but hadn't ventured out together on such an adventure.

I wish I had a picture of us loaded down for a one night hike. My pack weighed about 30 pounds and Mike's about 40.

Due to ferry waits, Katie didn't make it over to the peninsula until mid-afternoon, which meant we didn't get to the trail-head until 3:30. We only hiked in 2.5 miles to the first camping area, but I was too pooped to keep going to the next camping area at 4.5

miles.

The next day we hiked (without our heavy packs) up to Marmot pass, allowing for a view of the Olympics, Hood Canal and even a glimpse of the Cascades. 2 marmots came out of the marmot caves to gape at us and sun themselves on the rocks.

Katie found the trail by searching online with "olympic national park" and

"huckleberries" as her key words. It was the perfect season for picking huckleberries and salmonberries and a few thimbleberries. On the way back to the car we stopped every 1/2 mile or so to pick berries. We each picked a liter of berries. We made a huckleberry sauce to go on grilled salmon. The sauce was 1 cup berries, 1/3 cup water, 1 tablespoon sugar and and juice of 1 lemon. The leftover sauce went deliciously on ice cream. Yum. An all local meal to boot.

3 days later, our legs are still sore from the hike. I discovered some muscles that haven't made their voices known in awhile. It was a good weekend.

ceremony

Here is a copy of our wedding ceremony.

Music: Ladysmith Black Mambazo

Welcome and Opening Prayer: Shirley

Welcome! My name is Shirley O and on behalf of Christine and Michael, I welcome each of you who have gathered from far and near to share this sacred and celebratory moment with them. We invite into this gathering, loved ones who are not able to be here, but who are with us in spirit. We are especially mindful today, Michael's grandparents, George and Barbara Chrystal, who were married on this same date 80 years ago.

We gather in this wonderful earth space, the holy ground of our native ancestors. Let us call upon all the beauty and energy of this place to bless the marriage of Michael and Christine. Situated on the Olympic Peninsula, we welcome the spirit of water, air, earth and fire; we welcome the creatures of the sea, the earth and skies and ask that they bless and gift this marriage.

To strengthen and support this marriage commitment, we welcome the spirit of the earth with its solid, nurturing and generative energy. May we welcome the ebb and flow, the peace and force of the great waters. Let’s welcome the spirit of the unexpected that comes in the gentle and wild winds of life; we welcome and celebrate the fire of love with its passion for right relationship. Finally, we welcome and acknowledge the Great Spirit of Love that abides within Michael and Christine’s relationship.

When two people come together in love, there is the festive and the solemn, the magic and mystery. There is beauty and struggle. And in the words of Christine and Michael, there is the comfortableness and the silliness of being together; there is freedom and trust in being known. When all this is infused with a spirit of joyful love, there is great hope in where this journey of love will take them

Our presence here is an opportunity for all of us to renew our own relational commitments, but more importantly, our presence here is that of encouragement, celebration and support of the commitment that Michael and Christine will publicly proclaim in a few moments. They are who they are because of the love, friendship, life and support that many special people have offered them along the journey of their lives. They have invited each of you, their community of loved ones and they want your sustained support. So let’s celebrate with them this day, stand by them in difficult times and support them in friendship all days. Our hope is that the great energies of the universe unite your hearts today and everyday and fill you with all you need in your marriage.

Reading – For “CWB" by Elizabeth Bishop --RP
I
Let us live in a lull of the long winter winds
Where the shy, silver-antlered reindeer go
On dainty hoofs with their white rabbit friends
Amidst the delicate flowering snow.

All of our thoughts will be fairer than doves.
We will live upon wedding-cake frosted with sleet.
We will build us a house from two red tablecloths,
And wear scarlet mittens on both hands and feet.

II
Let us live in the land of the whispering trees,
Alder and aspen and poplar and birch,
Singing our prayers in a pale, sea-green breeze,
With star-flower rosaries and moss banks for church.

All of our dreams will be clearer than glass.
Clad in the water or sun, as you wish,
We will watch the white feet of the young morning pass
And dine upon honey and small shiny fish.
III
Let us live where the twilight lives after the dark,
In the deep, drowsy blue, let us make us a home.
Let us meet in the cool evening grass, with a stork
And a whistle of willow, played by a gnome.

Half-asleep, half-awake, we shall hear, we shall know
the soft "Miserere" the wood-swallow tolls.
We will wander away where wild raspberries grow
And eat them for tea from two lily-white bowls.

To Love is Not to Possess by James Kavanaugh --CT

To love is not to possess,
to own or imprison,
nor to lose one's self in another.
Love is to join and separate,
to walk alone and together,
to find a laughing freedom
that lonely isolation does not permit.
It is finally to be able
to be who we really are
no longer clinging in childish dependency
nor docilely living separate lives in silence,

It is to be perfectly one's self
and perfectly joined in permanent commitment
to another--and to one's inner self.
Love only endures when it moves like waves,
receding and returning gently or passionately,
or moving lovingly like the tide
in the moon's own predictable harmony.
Because finally, despite a child's scars
or an adult's deepest wounds,
they are openly free to be
who they really are--and always secretly were,
in the very core of their being
where true and lasting love can alone abide.

Declaration of Consent and Community Pledge of Support --Shirley

Christine and Michael, in the presence of the Great Source of Love and this circle of friends, I invite you to affirm your willingness to enter this marriage freely and to share all the joys and sorrows in this amazing journey you are on. Are you willing and ready to love each other as husband and wife as long as you both shall live?

(Michael and Christine respond): Yes, I am.

While Mike and Christine are choosing to commit to one another, they acknowledge that they are part of a much larger web of life and that to be true to their commitment they need the support and connection with the greater community. As friends and family will you pledge them your continued support, friendship and encouragement in their journey of committed love?

All respond: We will

VOWS:

Christine: Michael, from my heart I promise

To be present,

To listen to what you say and what you leave unsaid with an open heart.

To speak my truth,

To be faithful to you throughout all of life’s uncertainties,

To be open to you as you continue growing,

To cherish playfulness and laughter,

To join you in exploring all that is sacred.

Michael: Christine, from my heart, I promise

To be present,

To listen to what you say and what you leave unsaid with an open heart.

To speak my truth,

To be faithful to you throughout all of life’s uncertainties,

To be open to you as you continue growing,

To cherish playfulness and laughter,

To join you in exploring all that is sacred.

Rings : Shirley

The ring is a symbol of the unbroken circle of love.

Love that is freely given has no beginning and no end.

May these rings be a symbol of the endless love into which you enter as husband and wife for the rest of your lives.

Michael: Christine, I give you this ring as a sign of my love.

Christine: Michael, I give you this ring as a sign of my love.

Love by Roy Croft –Michael and Christine

I love you not only for what you are,

But for what I am

When I am with you.

I love you not only for what

You have made of yourself,

But for what you are making of me.

I love you for the part of me

That you bring out;

I love you for putting your hand into my heaped-up heart

And passing over all the foolish, weak things

That you can't help dimly seeing there,

And for drawing out Into the light

All the beautiful belongings that no one else had looked

Quite far enough to find.

I love you because you are helping me to make

Of the lumber of my life not a tavern, but a temple.

Out of the works of my every day

Not a reproach but a song.

I love you because you have done

More than any creed could have done to make me good.

And more than any fate could have done

To make me happy.

You have done it without a touch,

Without a word, without a sign.

You have done it by being yourself.

Perhaps that is what being a friend means, after all.

Closing Blessing Chinook Marriage Blessing --Fritz Hull (family and friends)

We call upon all that we hold most sacred to

Bless this marriage

We call upon the earth, our planet home, with its beautiful depths and soaring heights, its vitality and abundance of life, and together we ask that it

Bless this marriage

We call upon the mountains, the green mountains and the white, and the high valleys and meadows filled with wild flowers, the snows that never melt, the summits of intense silence, and we ask that they

Bless this marriage

We call upon the waters that rim the earth, horizon to horizon, that flow in our rivers and streams, that fall upon our gardens and fields, that fill our ponds and pools, and we ask that they

Bless this marriage

We call upon the forest, the great trees reaching to the sky with earth in their roots and heaven in their branches, the fir and the pine, the cedar and the maple, and we ask them to

Bless this marriage

We call upon the land which grows our food, the nurturing soil, the fertile fields, the abundant gardens and orchards, and we ask that they

Bless this marriage

We call upon the creatures of the fields and forests and the seas, our brothers and sisters the wolves and deer, the eagle and dove, the great whales and the dolphin, the beautiful Orca and salmon who share our Northwest home and we ask them to

Bless this marriage

We call upon the moon and the stars and the sun, who govern the rhythms and seasons of our lives and remind us that we are part of a great and wondrous universe, and we ask them to

Bless this marriage

We call upon all those who have lived on this earth, our ancestors and our friends, who dreamed the best for future generations, and upon whose lives our lives are built, and with thanksgiving, we call upon them to

Bless this marriage

We call upon the family and friends and all those who live and cherish and sustain this couple, and ask that together we

Bless this marriage

And lastly, we call upon the power and presence of the God of love, on that which asks us to become greater than ourselves so that the one may become two and the two may become one, and all together we

Bless this marriage!

Declaration of Marriage --Shirley

In the presence of the God of Love and this circle of your family and friends, you have declared your love for one another and have made solemn vows to each other. You have confirmed your promises by the joining of hands and by the giving and receiving of rings. With enthusiasm, I now proclaim Christine and Michael as wife and husband. Time to kiss!

Music: Aibrean (The Last Pint) by Lunasa

A different perspective on Irish food

I always remember hearing that food in Ireland wasn't much to write home about. I'm here to say that the food we had during our nearly 2 weeks in Ireland was in fact quite note-worthy.

If I was still following a vegan diet, I'd likely have been unsatisfied with most meals and would have been pretty bored. However, eating cheese, eggs, and .... fish (yes, fish) enabled a broad range of options, most of which were outstanding. I had been toying with the idea of eating fish, especially starting on this trip since Ireland is an island and, one would assume, have fresh seafood readily available. The weekend before we left, the people in my clinic through a bridal shower. Everyone brought some sort of brunch food to share. One of the nurses made a crab quiche made from crab caught the previous day by her son. I didn't want to pass up that opporutnity. Once I started eating fish on the trip, I wanted to keep eating it.

In fact, nearly all of the food that we had in Ireland was touted as being local. It was an impressive country in that way. Also, going into little convenience type stores, one could get fresh (and pretty good looking) produce, good cheeses and breads. The US has a lot to learn.

Rick Steves talks about the traditional Irish breakfast in his guidebook, so we were aware of the concept of their breakfasts, which usually consisted of bacon (more like slices of ham), sausage, egg, sometimes hashbrowns or beans, toast, and a fried tomato (always a fried tomato). In addition to this, most people also offered eggs with smoked salmon. I had eggs with smoked salmonat 4 different B&Bs, and everyone had a slightly different way of preparing it. Some had the salmon mixed in with the scrambled eggs, some had it lying on top of the eggs, and some had it lying to the side. All I thought were excellent.

Lunches were usually pretty small affairs since breakfast was usually pretty large and were mostly of the picnic variety.

Dinners were almost entirely excellent. We sampled some of the following seafood in these dinner: salmon, cod, seabass, periwinkles, lobster, hake, scallops, and mackeral. The following is a list of where we ate for dinner while in Ireland.

Heather Wicklow - Laragh, County Wicklow
Rajput Indian - Cashel, County Tipperary
Vasco - Fanore, County Clare
Inis Meain - Inishmaan, Aran Islands, County Galway
The Exchange - Derry, Northern Ireland
Cayenne - Belfast, Northern Ireland
Indian Restaurant - Trim, County Meath
Hugo's - Dublin
Trocadero - Dublin

Our 2 favorites were Inis Meain and Vasco. I'll write more about staying on the Aran Islands in another post. Suffice it to say at this point that our stay there was one of the most memorable of the trip, and the food was outstanding. The chef grew up on Inishmaan, went away for several years and moved back 8-9 years ago to open a hotel and restaurant with his wife. He had worked at a restaurant in Dublin prior to opening this restaurant. A lot of the vegetables and edible flowers they grow just next to the restaurant and get potatoes from someone else on the island. The fish is caught locally usually that day. Excellent.

Fenore is a tiny town on the west coast of Ireland. We had spent time that afternoon exploring the Cliffs of Moher and the burren. We were driving along the coast as the sun was approaching the horizon leading to some amazing views and photo opportunities - absolutely stunning and beautiful. We had gotten a recommendation for this newly opened mediteranean restaurant in Fenore. We drove through Fenore not knowing the name of the restaurant but on the lookout for a new place with mediteranean qualities. We thought we had missed it but finally drove long enough through town to chance upon it (the place only has a handful of restaurants or any commercial establishments). The food was excellent and we were entertained by children playing with donkeys outside the window.

are you fluent?

We are currently in Derry, Northern Ireland. 4 more days left until we fly home. It has been a great trip with many stories. We just haven't had much internet access here in which to post anything.

One little quip from the other night as we got into town late. Bad weather changed how we got back to our car after spending 2 nights on the Aran Islands. We pulled into Derry and didn't know directions to our B&B so had to stop to ask people on the streets. I walked up to a young woman outside of a night/dance club to ask for directions. During the conversation, she asked me if I was fluent in English. !!! Struck me as quite amusing. Onto Belfast today via the Antrim Coast.

some random thoughts, feelings, observations just before midnight on July 18, 2009

I can't sleep.

I have a ring on my left ring finger. It doesn't look like my hand when I catch sight of it out of the corner of my eye.

We haven't packed for Ireland yet, and we are headed to Seattle tomorrow for a Monday morning flight.

I have a family-in-law now for whom I feel a tremendous amount of love and affection today. All 4 of them said, "welcome to the family." I guess that was one of the things I hadn't really thought about in anticipation of today, and it took me by surprise. I am not sure how to otherwise express what I am feeling and felt about this today ... I guess I do feel like a part of Mike's family today where I hadn't previously. I want to spend more time around them.

So many good friends visiting this weekend. It was great to see everyone.

Beautiful ceremony. It did feel like us. Even though we were self-conscious in the middle of everyone's attention.

I need sleep and I'm tired. Perhaps my monkey-mind will settle down and my chest overflowing with emotions will calm just slightly.

Pictures and more to come.

Cracking an egg

For the last 10 years, I have been a diligent vegan. I almost wrote something about following a very strict vegan diet. That doesn't sound right somehow, as it sounds as if I was depriving myself and following someone else's dictates. It was a choice that I made in college as I learned about the industrial machine that produces meat and milk products. I have memories as a child requesting steak on my birthday and drank a ton of milk as I was growing up. I religiously ordered milk when we went out to eat as a family and when the team went out after a game during high school sports. My college roommates likely have memories of my getting a glass or 2 of milk with dinner and dunking rolls in the milk. So, it wasn't like I grew up on a similar diet to the one I adopted after leaving home. I also have a memory sometime during my senior year of high school in which I was having a very difficult time cleaning and preparing some store-bought chicken for dinner. Either my mother thought to herself or said out loud that she thought I'd become a vegetarian at some point.

During these years I didn't buy or wear wool or leather, use honey, eat anything that I knew had been prepared with animal products. I was part of a animal rights club in college. I was very committed to this way of life. And, I think I was healthy. The only thing that I noticed was that my hair thinned out some, not noticeable since it is still thick. I can think of only a handful of times that I inadvertently, or in one instance, under full consciousness (we went as a family to Blake Island and had salmon as part of the meal, of which I agreed to eat a little), consumed meat.

Last summer I attended a wedding reception at a French restaurant. One meal option was kindly and thoughtfully (!) vegan. The desserts were certainly not. Nevertheless I decided to partake. Oh my. That was the day I fell in love with creme brulee.

For awhile, my only excursion into the non-vegan world was an occasional creme brulee, of which all of our favorite local restaurants seem to have on their menu.

Then, I finally picked up a book that I had purchased at Powell's last summer called Nourishing Traditions: The cookbook that challenges politically correct nutrition and the diet dictocrats. I felt like I had seen the book around here and there for awhile, finally bought a copy and had it sit for nearly a year before really being read. The book talks about traditional, native diets and how they differ from what people currently eat. And, how what we are told to eat has differed from what people ate for millenia. The author discusses how grains eaten without soaking contain phytates that bind up calcium and other nutrients, which actually depletes the body of nutrients rather than adding anything to the body. She also claims that unfermented soy products do the same thing. The authors are large proponents of raw milk from grass-fed cows of traditional breeds. They also discuss how people in this country are deficient in omega-3 fatty acids since nearly all vegetable oils are high in omega-6 fatty acids. Anyhow, I could go on, but I'll stop since this is all ramblings and book regurgitations.

In addition, I went to the library the other day and came up on a book called Real Food by Nina Planck. It is more of the same with a little different take and little less militancy on the foods that one should eat.

The books discuss a so-called fertility diet of what foods those wishing to conceive should be eating as well.

So, reading all of this lately has had an impact. In addition, I'm living with someone who isn't vegan/vegetarian although he is very supportive and mainly eats a vegetarian diet with cheese a few times a week and meat probably once a week.

A few weeks ago I wanted to buy some eggs from the farmer's market but was on call. This meant the I was working at the start of the market when one needs to get there to buy eggs since people only have a few dozen eggs to sell. He didn't buy any. We stopped at our local health food store and I bought a dozen from a local farm. anyhow, I wasn't feeling much support for this decision to buy and eat eggs. We finally talked about it, and I guess he was feeling a little guilty for having a "negative" impact on my eating habits and that being vegan has been such a large part of my identity for the decade.

Recently I visited a local dairy that sells raw milk from grass-fed cows. I must say that it is pretty good. Once I get something to incubate the milk in, I'm going to start making yogurt.

It feels good to be able to buy "protein" from sources locally, rather than buying soy milk and tofu produced who knows where. And, from the reading lately, these are seeming less and less like the healthy options I had previously thought.

This is a dietary change still in progress and an identity that is shifting slightly.